Now that weed is legal, everyone and their grandma is massaging CBD cream onto their aching lower backs. In fact, pot’s family-friendly cousin has become so popular, there are currently over 3,500 CBD companies operating in the US alone. With that kind of traction, it was only a matter of time before woodland creatures started muscling in on the market.
The first wave of deer mafia break-ins occurred in the small town of Amesbury when a deer charged through the front window of New England CBD retailer, Hempire. While it appears the deer was operating alone, sources inside the FBI suspect a getaway sleigh full of reindeer was waiting around the corner, ready to alight and dispense the stolen goods to chimneys across the tristate area.
Incredibly, the entire incident was caught on both in-store security and dash cam. And this video reminds us that not only are deer absolutely insane, they’re graceful AF.
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Ironically, nothing eases the pain of crashing through a storefront window like a 300 mg broad-spectrum CBD tincture. But while medicinal marijuana should be available to all, the criminal enterprises of buck, doe, and fawn are strictly forbidden by ancient Massachusetts law.
If you live in the Amesbury area and recognize this deer, please contact local authorities before legal CBD floods the black market, eventually falling into the hands of dam beavers and motherf%cking chipmunks.
Cover Photo: Dave Kitson (Getty Images)
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