Wipe that sweat off your brow, we made it through another week of madness. More and more people may be putting Twitter down to escape from the daily doom updates, and in doing so they could be missing out on some of the hilarity that is still out there trying to make the world not seem so glum. Thankfully you have us, and it’s Friday, which means it’s once again time for the funniest tweets of the week! If you were unfortunate to miss our last collection of tweets, not to worry, you poor bastard. We’re here for you if you need us. Now, catch up on all the Twitter insanity here then be sure to follow us on Twitter @Mandatory.
https://twitter.com/90sWWE/status/1493409763647963139?s=20&t=4XEpUy6Kv5mJiOg3EGSxnQ
A new banner going up Detroit.. pic.twitter.com/xHwSsj0qL1
— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) February 14, 2022
50 waiting for his cue: pic.twitter.com/qryIday19Q
— Christian Rivas (@RadRivas) February 14, 2022
"My boyfriend took me to an open mic he hosts on valentines day."
– the beginning of a horror movie
— name cannot be blank (@joshgrave_s) February 14, 2022
Where the hell did "push the envelope" come from? Who the hell saw someone pushing an envelope and said, "Dammmn did you see how they pushed that envelope? That shit needs be a saying and whatnot!" A?BABY?CAN ?PUSH?AN?ENVELOPE!?
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) February 15, 2022
FaceTiming with the wife. pic.twitter.com/yVeom6nNdX
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) February 17, 2022
“I’m not one of the seven!”
—Me 900 times a day if I lived there https://t.co/h8l8ivJ9qL— Brad Williams (@funnybrad) February 17, 2022
do the flat earth people think the moon is also flat
— worms cited (@christapeterso) February 16, 2022
Facebook just reminded me 6 years ago today I was at the WGA Awards, spotted my teen crush Diane Lane smiling at me from across the room, and as I casually approached her the entire sole of my shoe fell off and I hobbled away like a drunken Popeye as she stared in disbelief pic.twitter.com/Uda9VI4XTI
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) February 15, 2022
Tell me you’ve never been up close to a woman, without telling me you’ve never been up close to a woman…
This dude will go first: pic.twitter.com/glRRULUJjT
— Jesse Cox (@JesseCox) February 15, 2022
SHOOT DAY #3: Good news – @TheRokuChannel let me know that the NDA doesn’t apply to me, so I can post ANY PICTURES FROM THE SET that I want!!! So here’s a picture of my favorite apple box. #WEIRDTheAlYankovicStory pic.twitter.com/IP01u77ucH
— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) February 14, 2022
One reason I still have trouble believing crypto currency is money is that there aren’t commercials for money.
— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) February 14, 2022
Beware. She can move in any direction. pic.twitter.com/GrowuHlit4
— Symea (@SYMEA) February 11, 2022
Promotion and raise for this Queen ? pic.twitter.com/5hnPuCKVuu
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) February 11, 2022
Raisins are just grape jerky
— tammy golden (@tammygolden) February 11, 2022
