Just when you thought Johnny Depp’s defamation suit against his ex-wife Amber Heard couldn’t be more of a shitshow, well, someone shat the bed. Literally. And by all accounts, it was Amber Heard.
In case you’ve been living under a rock or simply ignoring the most obnoxious couple to ever wed, then divorce, Depp has been on the stand detailing the alleged abuse he suffered at Heard’s hand (and, apparently, asshole) during their toxic relationship.
During the testimony in question, Depp said that Heard took a dump on his side of the bed in an act of revenge after a fight. But apparently, Heard “tried to blame it on the dogs. They’re teacup Yorkies, they weigh three pounds each,” Depp said. “It was our bed, and on my side of the bed, there was human fecal matter. I laughed. It was so bizarre. So grotesque. What else could I do but laugh?”
Nothing, we guess? Hand her a bedpan or a plastic bag? Maybe break up with her when you were done laughing? Alas. This guy was apparently so stupid (or so pussy-whipped), none of those things occurred to him.
In the courtroom, the New York Post reported that “the tale of the infamous poop accident did seem to enliven the gallery, with many raising their eyebrows, whispering, shaking their heads, and laughing when images of feces on the couple’s bed were shown in court.”
Talk about airing your dirty laundry in public! We’re seriously ready for this line of questioning – not to mention this trial – to end, but not before Twitter gets in a few hot takes – and a couple of clever hashtags.
These are the funniest tweet reactions to Johnny Depp’s #mepoo moment with #AmberTurd.
Cover Photo: JIM WATSON / Contributor and STEVE HELBER / Contributor (Getty Images)
https://twitter.com/TheQuartering/status/1516944456716587011?s=20&t=9HV6O3summb0gMsP4w8bWQ
the face of someone when the WHOLE WORLD finds out you shit in the bed of Johnny Depp #mepoo pic.twitter.com/milApaDRvl
— Kazam (@WhiteAlakazam) April 20, 2022
We cannot let this Teacup Terrier slander slide. #AmberHeard #JohnnyDepp #MePoo pic.twitter.com/LmQGe24ZtD
— itsallrealitv (@itsallrealitv) April 20, 2022
https://twitter.com/GSGtheOriginal/status/1516954468599824384?s=20&t=9HV6O3summb0gMsP4w8bWQ
https://twitter.com/Erikodex/status/1516866589248966663?s=20&t=9HV6O3summb0gMsP4w8bWQ
Johnny Depp's face while talking about Amber Turd squeezing out a fudge monkey on his side of the bed is absolutely priceless ? #MePoo pic.twitter.com/Ua9QhdeMeO
— Enraged-Pistachio (@SgamingMo) April 21, 2022
When you realize Johnny Depp, an American icon, just told the world how your physically abuse escalated to shitting in his bed and blaming a god damn CHORKY A THREE POUND CHORKY I have a Chorky…. It's like little malted chocolate size.#mepoo pic.twitter.com/4praLTACze
— grumpkin pumpkin (@Grumpkin_Show) April 20, 2022
https://twitter.com/dpnowell/status/1516877709862834176?s=20&t=9HV6O3summb0gMsP4w8bWQ
https://twitter.com/Erikodex/status/1516863319881175045?s=20&t=9HV6O3summb0gMsP4w8bWQ
Our summary. #AmberTurd #MePoo #JusticeForJohnnyDepp pic.twitter.com/S8nLEIslQL
— Mocking Media (@mocking_media) April 20, 2022
https://twitter.com/DEANNAGRAVELDI1/status/1516875273572175874?s=20&t=9HV6O3summb0gMsP4w8bWQ
When Amber left a dump on the bed, it was the poop heard round the world. #AmberTurd #MePoo
— ⊬ Hannah ⊬ (Comms Open!) (@moonlitbandito) April 20, 2022
https://twitter.com/dailylaney/status/1516888672750161920?s=20&t=9HV6O3summb0gMsP4w8bWQ
Your face when you gotta make a 'grumpy' and refuse to walk to the bathroom. #AmberTurd #MePoo pic.twitter.com/FVa5OuMIgl
— Esmerelda_Pinchbuns ???? (@bellevue1970) April 21, 2022
Where she belongs #amberturd pic.twitter.com/jNwz9fge2J
— kineza (@wescravenss) April 20, 2022
Below you can see the final scene from Aquaman 2.
Cancel the witch.#mepoo#AmberTurd #JusticeForJohnnyDeep pic.twitter.com/idxfkEHBT3— Adam__Mats (@mats_adam) April 21, 2022
My man has made me crazy angry before but Im proud to say that no man has ever made me "Imma shit on your side of the bed" angry. #AmberTurd #AmberHeard #JohnnyDepp
— ArrozConPollo ✈️ (@KiannaBanana) April 20, 2022
