The Mandatory Guide to Winning a Bar Fight With a Barrette

Welcome back to Mandatory’s guide to winning (or simply surviving!) a bar fight using improvised weaponry! It’s imperative you know your surroundings at all times—specifically, what items are within reach should you be forced to defend yourself. On those rare occasions when nothing is in your immediate vicinity, perhaps there’s something on you—or on your friend/date/significant other—that you can use.

So, let’s explore that worst-case scenario. The shit has hit the fan and there’s literally nothing within reach. Instinctively, your hand flies up to your hair where you find your barrette. How you use that simple hair clip will greatly depend on its size, type, and composition.

If the barrette is small and thin, like a bobby pin:

1. Clench the bobby pin in the fist of your dominant hand and use your thumb to apply additional downward force. Don’t allow more than half of the barrette to protrude; you don’t want to risk losing it or breaking it upon contact with your foe.

2. A straightforward jabbing motion is the most effective option; use short, fast strikes—boxers call them rabbit punches—and aim for the eyes, throat, side of the neck just below the ear, or the soft spot just behind the earlobe.

3. A slashing maneuver can also be attempted if you miss your jab strike and have left your arm extended. Simply whip your arm from side to side as if you were holding a tennis racket, looking to make contact with the barrette’s point.

4. At worst, use this tactic as a distraction to grab a more potent weapon, or deliver a strike with your hands or feet.

If the barrette is bigger than your hand:

1. Close your fist over the barrette, allowing each end to extend beyond your fist. You can strike your attacker with the bottom end as if you were wielding a hammer, or with the top end as if you had a knife.

2. For hammer-like descending blows, target the top of the head (especially if your enemy is shorter than you), or the hands and arms (aim wherever you see skin). If your foe is wearing sandals or any other type of footwear leaving his feet/toes visible, drop to your knees and drive the pointed end as deep into his flesh as you can.

3. For uppercut strikes, target the armpit, or the soft skin under the chin. Or fake high and attack the groin. Using your attacker’s legs as a guide, drive the barrette straight up, being careful not to push your striking hand out too far, or your opponent could clamp his legs on your wrist, pinning it and leaving you helpless.

4. At worst, use this tactic as a distraction to grab a more potent weapon, or deliver a strike with your hands or feet.

Cover Photo: mediaphotos (Getty Images)