Several years ago, Crave Online wrote an article listing the top 10 celebrity douchebags. However, let’s be real – Hollywood contains so many rich, famous douchebags, there ought to be a separate division of the sanitation department to regularly handle all that toxic celebrity smarminess, or else it’ll start poisoning the city’s drinking water. Until that day, here’s another list of celebrity douchebags:
John Mayer
The sad thing is that John Mayer has attempted to make self-deprecating jokes in the past, so I assume he knows about his legendary douchiness. However, the guy who sang “Your Body Is A Wonderland” and who discussed his “hood pass” in an infamous interview will have a hard time getting a douche pass. [images via, 2]
Charlie Sheen
Tiger Blood! Adonis DNA! Porn stars! Rock Star From Mars! Vatican Assassin! F-18, bro! Wiiiiiiinniiiiiiing! Douchecetera. [image via]
Donald Trump
He’s a rich asshole who gets off on firing people. Trump’s biggest accomplishment recently was his foray into the idiotic conspiracy world of birther-dom, if you can call that an accomplishment. Can a tower be condemned for douchiness? I’m hoping yes. [image via]
Lindsay Lohan
I wish I could feel sorry for her, because there was a time when Lindsay Lohan was a promising young actress. However, she hasn’t starred in a decent film since 2004, and her life has been nothing but annoying tabloid fodder and drugged out photos ever since. There’s nothing douchier than wasting your life, talent and everybody else’s time. So says The Douche Code. [images via, 2]
Jay Leno
If you’d like to Jaywalk over to this guy and punch him in his fat chin, you’re not alone – as the Team Coco protests proved. The problem with Jay isn’t so much that he’s obviously conniving, but that he puts on a smile and pretends to be a nice guy. “Hey, I just wanna make people laugh, especially if it comes at the expense of more talented people’s careers!” Whatta douche! [images via, 2]
Fred Durst
Isn’t the Limp Bizkit front-man and poster child of the worst musical genre in recent memory just ancient douche-history? Well, CBS is giving everyone favorite purveyor of hot dog flavored water his own sitcom. Guess what it’s been tentatively titled? Douchebag. As if it could be called anything else. [image via]
Brett Ratner
Derailed the X-Men film franchise – check. Resigned from his Academy Awards producing gig after insulting gays – check. Appeared as himself on Entourage – check. Lied about sleeping with Olivia Munn – check. Has a name like “Brett Ratner” – check. The douchebag checklist is full of check marks. [images via, 2]
Jesse James
Not only did the celebrity motorcycle builder publicly cheat on his wife Sandra Bullock, but Jesse has also gone on the public record about how much better his lover is at sex. He also checked into a sex rehab clinic, which is the icing on this douche cake. [image via]
Mel Gibson
How does a douchebag actor/filmmaker come back from multiple public outbursts of racism, most famously for remarks against the Jews? By making a movie about Channukah, of course. Oy vey, what a douchebag! [image via, 2]
The Jersey Shore Cast
Snooki and The Situation are cartoonish douchebags, the way Jim Carrey was a cartoonish supervillian in Batman Forever. They’re such hyper-exaggerated dickheads, it’s like they were created in a douche laboratory. If the rest of the celebrities on this list are sideshows, here is your orange-skinned main attraction freak, and for the purposes of this metaphor, we’ll say it’s a bearded lady. [image via]
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator, “The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans,” in comic book stores across the country. Header via.
