To some, it’s anathema. To others, it was bound to happen eventually. All-Star Western #21 finally makes it happen – Jonah Hex has arrived in the present day New 52.
One may wonder why the hell a grizzled, scarred old bounty hunter like Hex can’t just say in the Old West for good western yarns, and I agree, that’s where he’s at his best and most awesome. It’s interesting that, for most of its run, All-Star Western has really been All-Star Eastern, given how much time he’s spent in Old Tyme Gotham City. He’ll certainly wind up back in the 1800s and hopefully back west eventually, but it bears noting that Hex is no stranger to time travel, either. Once, he was flung to a Road Warrior style future and everything. Therefore, as soon as Booster Gold showed up in ASW a few issues back, we should’ve seen this coming.
Booster had been posing as the sheriff of a small town, trying to solve crime, when Hex came rolling in. The two of them got mixed up with a band of thieves, stole their gold back, and wound up on the run. At the start of ASW #21, for some reason, Booster is driving the horse cart. Booster doesn’t know how to drive the horse cart. Therefore, they go plunging over a cliff, much to Hex’s frustration. In true Hex form, he wants to make sure he strangles Booster Gold dead before they both hit the ground and die – but something happens. They glow gold and go tumbling through time. Booster says “you have to hold onto me to make it through!” Out of spite, Hex shoves him away, and winds up on his duff in modern-day Gotham City. Wearing a Confederate army uniform. That won’t go over well in the big city.
And it doesn’t. First thing he does is shoot a few Mutant Gang thugs dead for trying to mug some people. A pair of cops shows up, one of them black, and since Hex hasn’t figured out where he is, he asks “since when is a colored fella allowed ta be a peace officer?” That gets him tasered immediately. Of course, this being Jonah Hex, he gets back up and starts beating up cops, and that earns the attention of the new Batwing. Why Batwing? Well, because ASW writers Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti also happen to be writing Batwing these days, and it drives the point home about Hex’s uniform being “racially insensitive,” as the hero terms it. Being in a souped-up suit of armor, naturally, Batwing beats Hex up, thinking him delusional. Then, Jonah Hex wakes up in Arkham Asylum.
Let me say that again. Jonah Hex is in Arkham Asylum.
That is seriously all you need to know to start reading this book NOW. Never mind the irony that Hex had been reluctantly partnered with Amadeus Arkham himself for a long while back in his own time. Come on now. You have to find out how Jonah Hex will react to the Calendar Man.
Also, the backup story regarding the 1800s version of Stormwatch vs. vampires comes to a close, and Doctor 13 continues to be the most amusing character of all of them – a hardened cynic, man of science refusing to believe what he’s seeing as far as mystical suckheads, and so married to his work that it turns out he’s also a virgin, which was necessary for Adam One’s big plans, and those don’t work out either. It’s been a fun little ride. It almost makes me wish I cared about Stormwatch. Almost.
Seriously, though. Jonah Hex is in Arkham Asylum. Stay tuned, Hexagons!
Yes, that’s what Jonah Hex would call his fans if he were a pro wrestler.
