Derek Waters is a hilarious writer and comedian who created the hit Comedy Central series Drunk History. On the other hand, I ask hard-hitting interview questions about drunken time travel, the Hard Rock Café and ALF. These are 5 hypothetical questions for Derek Waters:
You’re best known for creating the very funny web-to-TV series Drunk History. Let’s say you could go back in time and get super drunk with any historical figure. Which person would you pick?
Edgar Allan Poe.
Why Edgar Allan Poe?
I just know I probably wouldn’t be able to talk that much, which I prefer. I like him a lot and I think he would tell a really great story about anything. And throw that Lincoln guy in there, too. He wouldn’t be bad to talk to.
That Lincoln guy?
Yeah, that Abraham dude.
The connection got garbled for a minute. I thought you said, “that LinkedIn guy.”
Oh, yes. Please put him in there. I’d love to talk to the guy who came up with LinkedIn, who I believe is named Abraham LinkedIn.
He freed us all from the tyranny of not having online resumes.
Thanks to Abraham LinkedIn, there are more emails in our inboxes and trash.
Since the show is a hit, I imagine Comedy Central will want more series ideas from you. Let’s say you are about to enter a development meeting with Comedy Central executives, but you from the future went back in time to get yourself super drunk right before the big meeting. What ideas would you pitch to Comedy Central wasted?
Drunk Fraggle Rock or Drunk ALF.
Do you imagine ALF is an angry drunk or a happy drunk?
Extremely angry. He’s never gonna get back to Melmac. How could he ever be happy? There are only so many cats he can eat.
You’ve also appeared on a number of hilarious comedies like It’s Always Sunny, Maron, and The Sarah Silverman Program. Let’s say you saved a big shot, big time Hollywood producer’s life – this guy is big! – and he promises to get you a one-time guest spot on any currently airing TV show. Which show would you pick and what would you want your character to be?
I would like to be on a sitcom and play the canned laughter.
Let’s talk about your new Buh video “Rock and Roll Legends Present: Islands.” Say one day you get a call from Islands’ manager: the guys would like you to join their band and give it a brand new direction. What instrument would you want to play, and how would you evolve the band creatively?
I would make it more of a marching band thing. I have a love for marching bands. And I would play the tuba.
High school or professional marching band?
High school. Played very passionately, but not well executed. That’s my favorite stuff.
You like a band that tries hard.
Yeah, their heart’s in the right place, just not their sound.
Let’s say you have an inside guy working at the Hollywood Hard Rock Cafe and you could steal a piece of rock ‘n’ roll memorabilia there without getting caught. Which of the following would you steal and why: Jim Morison’s brown leather pants, one of Lars Ulrich’s drums, a white jacket worn by Jani Lane from Warrant, Katy Perry’s sparkly dress or one of Fergie’s tour outfits?
Man, you really set me up for disaster. I just want to say part of Otis Redding’s airplane, because I know they have that at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Why would you steal that?
Well, Otis is my favorite. I don’t know if that seems morbid, but I just really love Otis Redding.
So, basically, you want a piece of your favorite musician’s death?
Geez!
I don’t know! Right? Isn’t that what you’re saying?
Yeah, and then I’d put Katy Perry’s dress on top of it, to make it less morbid.
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header via.
