The Beached Az Whale Has Died

Six years after the YouTube phenomenon that is the cartoon blue Beached Az whale took the world by storm with his uber-Kiwi accent, his creators have collaborated with Greenpeace to kill him off, a result of eating “too much plistuc.”

The new video sees the whale once again approach his seagull friend, who comments that he is looking, “distunctly liss opaque”. Explains our whale hero, that’s because he’s “did, as in extunct”. “It’s quite upsutting to be an apparition,” he adds.

Continues the whale, not only is he dead from eating “too much plistuc,” which if you’re wondering includes, “plistuc bags, syringes, slunkeys and other sea-fearing plistuc bric a brac,” the whole ocean is “gitting did too!” The video comes ahead of this Sunday’s World Ocean Day.

Greenpeace says about 80 per cent of ocean debris is made up of plastics and the water has become even more acidic with increased CO2 levels. In a statement, producer Anthony McFarlane said he hopes the video would serve as a public service announcement about the importance of preserving our oceans and marine life.

“We just wanted all the cuzzies and bros out there to know that the ocean is getting pretty sick and it’s time we all took notice, so we don’t have to kill off any more cartoon whales.”

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