Other than the obvious Bhengazi scandal that everyone and their mother is talking about, Hillary Clinton has a quite a few other scandals that just need to be addressed. Now we aren’t judging here. After all, there’s probably a good reason for everything, right?
The Time She Had a Super Shady Business.
Before Bill was getting blowjobs in the Oval Office and before Hillary was running America, they were just a simple Midwestern couple running a sketchy real estate firm called Whitewater Development Corp in Arkansas. During that time they were accused of impropriety involving illegal campaign contributions, improper tax claims, and political favors, but that’s not the shadiest part. The Clintons managed to walk away Scott-Free while other majority owners however, including Governor Jim Tucker, were jailed for fraud. Convenient, huh?
The Time She Tried to Steal From the White House.
Now maybe she really thought that White House property belonged to her, or maybe she just knew she’d never be able to find that print again, but the fact remains that she definitely started shipping White House furniture to her personal home in New York towards the end of Bill’s term. No need to be outraged: she gave most of it back when the media started harassing her about it.
The Time She Took Creepin’ to the Next Level.
We’ve all lurked on our false-friends and rivals on Facebook, Twitter or whatever other places they may have left their digital footprint, but accessing their private FBI files really just draws the line. In 1996, Hillary improperly requested and received personal files and background reports from Republican officials and individuals without permission. The incident, commonly referred to as “Filegate” infuriated both parties for the breach in privacy granted to her and her husband’s adminstration. It’s like if a creepy-stalker girlfriend hacked your girlfriend’s Facebook and read all her messages. Like, you aren’t supposed to see those, Hillary. They aren’t for you.
The Time She Didn’t Follow the Easiest Rule to Follow Ever.
How hard is it to just use a government mandated email server? Now I’m not calling it a conspiracy or anything, but you have to actually try to break this rule, and she really should have known better considering she was Secretary of State. What makes it worse is that these missing emails are now a central piece in the Bhengazi investigation, an attack at the US Embassy in Libya that left US Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens and three others dead. Now we aren’t blaming Hillary for Bhengazi or anything, but it just seems like the whole thing really could have been avoided.
The Time She Made a Really Bad Deal.
Sure, millions of dollars really do help a campaign, but getting that money in return for selling secrets to China to help them advance their missile program is just really not a good one. Back in 2013, a Judicial found Hillary mastermined a huge fundraising scheme — she gave technology permission to sell high-tech secrets to China, including one that advanced their missile program and threatened national security, if they would only donate to some well-planned Decomcratic foundations, including Bill’s re-election campaign.
That Time She Flat Out Lied to Make Her Story More Interesting.
Who isn’t guilty of exaggerating a boring story to spice it up a bit? Hillary just took it to a whole new level, claiming she landed in Bosnia under sniper fire and had to run to her car for safety. The real story, corroborated by video evidence, is that she arrived totally safe and an adorable child read her a poem. Snooze fest, right? You see why she did it.
So what did we learn here? Maybe we learned that Hillary Clinton is just like all of us, just… a bit shadier. Or, maybe it makes you wonder if her interest in regaining control over the White House is to A.) get the manufacturer’s name for that one couch she loved so much B.) contact the guy behind the “Snappening” and hire him as a personal assistant or C.) hook up with a secretary in the Oval Office to get back at Bill.
Wouldn’t put it past her, is all I’m saying.
