Mariah Carey Wasn’t Great, Part Dos



We’re getting some hate mail from Mariah Carey fans, so I’m chiming in to defend Todd here. C’mon now. Mariah is, uh, just a tad nuts and hasn’t fully recovered since her ice cream stripper episode on TRL years ago. You have to admit she was a much better singer before the nose jobs and the multiple plastic surgeries (see above).

Regarding the comparisons of her to Mees Cddrrristina and Queen Ce-leh Di-oh, you be the judge. They’re all good, but none of the aforementioned can compare to me singing in the shower and me singing when I’m vacuuming. Oh, and let’s not even get me started on when I’m singing with headphones while I’m using my jackhammer. The sirens from the ambulances are musical accompaniment, the flatlines are persistent applause, and ……………….







’tis the season, baby
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