It’s with no small sense of pride that I say that I’ve never watched one episode of Laguna Beach, so I really have no idea if Kristin Cavallari is a math genius or some kind of robot from the future. But considering the fact that she was on a reality show on MTV, and this is just a guess, I assume she is a slutty priviledged white chick who desperately craves fame so she puts on a bikini and hires a photographer to take pictures of her at the beach so she can see herself on sites like this and pretend in her own mind that she’s relevant because she was on television three years ago. Sorry, sweetie. You’re not. You just happen to look awesome in a bikini. These pictures could have been of you rescuing babies from a burning daycare or stopping a nuclear missile with your hand, but the only way they would have gone up is if they included a closeup of your ass.
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. In a recent Instagram video, Armie…
