Say what you want about country music, but I’d gladly spend a couple hundred at iTunes on songs about tire swings by the river and teardrops on guitars if it meant my penis could get a VIP tour of Carrie Underwood’s and Taylor Swift’s cervix. I’d split Taylor Swift’s skinny ass like I was trying to win a lumberjack contest.
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual abuse. Reader discretion is advised. In a recent Instagram video, Armie…
