There’s nothing quite like the complete downward spiral your life takes when going through a rough breakup. You have all this information about someone and now there is no use for it whatsoever. As depressing as it can be, at a certain point you just have to laugh about it or you’ll go crazy. Here are a bunch of really funny tweets from people who have certainly been there and will help you find a silver lining in your misery.
Sometimes relationships don’t work out because of timing, but most of the time it’s because someone is an asshole.
— caprice crane (@capricecrane) October 17, 2011
“Let’s call all your ex-girlfriends.” ~ Alcohol.
— Adam Juskewitch (@juskewitch) June 9, 2011
People without stuffed animals, what do you hold onto when you sleep? Oh another person like a boyfriend or husband oh yeah SAMESIIIIES same
— Chelsea Nachman (@chelseanachman) February 19, 2015
ME: I think we should see other people. HER: [doesn’t exist]
— Sam Reid (@SamReidSays) June 8, 2015
If two people are arguing and one person says, “You know what…” that argument is about to get awesome.
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 25, 2011
Whenever being single gets me down, I like to close my eyes, take a deep breath and then go do whatever I want pretty much nonstop.
— Miah St Cyr (@MiahSaint) October 22, 2011
Sometimes it’s better not to google your ex-girlfriend, especially when your ex-girlfriend’s name is Hot Gay Porn.
— Doug Perkins (@DoctorDoug) May 30, 2011
Don’t worry, the right someone is out there for everyone. You’ll probably never find them, or fuck it up when you do, but they’re out there.
— hey Bosh (@TheBosha) April 2, 2010
Nothing says “I’m single” like a string cheese wrapper in the bathroom trash can.
— Ty (@Ty_Schutz) June 6, 2011
Dating is a lot like changing a water filter. I don’t do it very often and I’m not really sure how to
— Erica Rosie (@erica_rosie) May 24, 2014
My goal is just to find someone I can comfortably hate everything with for the rest of my life.
— Shira (@shiraselko) August 18, 2011
Who cares how I got inside your house. What matters is that we’re together now.
— moody monday (@mdob11) September 10, 2013
If you love someone: 1. Set them free 2. Drunk dial them 3. Read too much into their FB posts 4. Make them feel sorry for you 5. Die alone
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) May 27, 2013
bet if I start calling the mouse in my kitchen “my boyfriend” he’ll leave.
— Bridey Lee Elliott (@brideylee) October 5, 2012
Sex with me is a lot like ordering at a restaurant, I tell you the specials and then I tell you we actually ran out of that and I’m sorry.
— SEAN O’CONNOR (@seanoconnz) March 31, 2014
You can easily calculate how shitty a relationship was by plotting the ex axis along the why axis
— Leah Tiscione (@LeahTiscione) October 20, 2014
Do u hear that music? “ugh its my crazy ex again” How can you tell? [i come whipping around the corner in an ice cream truck] FUCK YOU GREG
— madeleine (@madeleinedoux) February 24, 2015
Jokes on you, hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station’s phone number I just won Disney on Ice tickets and a golf umbrella.
— Steve Amiri (@SteveAmiri) August 12, 2014
Oh great. My ex just walked into this restaurant where I’m sitting eating french fries alone. Sending this tweet so it looks like I’m busy.
— Brett Ryland (@brettryland) June 1, 2015
im your DJ for the night and this next one goes out to all my ex gfs: please help me what is my Netflix password i got logged out
— Cool Eric (@OBiiieeee) May 27, 2015
Very normal stages of anger: 1) kinda upset 2) crying 3) imagining yourself singing a revengeful song to them at a talent show
— hannah (@TribalSpaceCat) December 7, 2014
Text him again. He probably just forgot that he’s in love with you.
— moody monday (@mdob11) March 17, 2014
