There are very few things human beings truly need to survive. Food and sex are usually priorities, and they often work in tandem; one can lead to the other. For every person who’s ever made a sex joke about food and then watched that clever quip open the door for mind-blowing sex, this is for you. But more importantly, it’s for the people who didn’t even know that a chill banana joke done right might land you in the driver’s seat of someone else’s body.
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What food gets your juices flowing? Let us know in the comments!
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food porn
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Grilled Meats
Nothing appeals to our baser instincts like tenderly cooking meat on an open fire. Grilling is like the caveman's way of saying, "I love you. Let's fuck."
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Skittles
Because tasting the rainbow is only topped by being on top.
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Pizza
There's a reason people say pizza is like sex: even when it's bad, it's good. Which translates pretty well when you tell your significant other you want to stay in, order a pizza, and "chill."
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Sub Sandwiches
Insert vulgar joke about dick-shaped foods and the people who love them here.
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Ice Cream Sundae
Start with the cherry on top. Tie its stem into a knot with your tongue so they'll know that when they finish dessert, they'll get their real treat.
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French Fries
The delectable joy of crispy, salty goodness will remind her of everything else she likes to put inside her person.
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Chocolate
Women. Love. Chocolate. There's a reason men give women lavish boxes of chocolate every Valentine's Day. Giving your lady a surprise piece of chocolate to nosh on will certainly result in a surprise of your own. Wink. Wink.
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Breakfast
Coffee is for closers but breakfast is for bangers. Take her out to breakfast for dinner to let her know that, like breakfast, you're down to have her anytime.
