Coffee, as they say, is lifeblood. It drives the dreams of champions, or at the very least, it keeps the buzz going. But what about when you’re in the throes of exhaustion and your regular cup of joe just isn’t cutting it? That’s where cold brew comes in. Cold brew, or the nectar of the proletariat, has twice the caffeine of regular coffee, resulting in a boost of energy that gets your body going…in all the ways possible. So when you’re nodding off before that big afternoon meeting, what you obviously need is a cold brew to get you going. This is your honest timeline for what happens to your body when you overdo the brew.
Photo: Tara Moore (Getty Images)
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What circle of hell are you in when you drink too much goddamned cold brew? Let us know your answer in the comments!
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Too Much Cold Brew Coffee
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1:30 PM
You can typically skip your post-lunch siesta. However, a combination of staying up too late the night before and an impromptu decision to carbo-load at lunch has given you a case of the sleepies.
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1:45 PM
Your boss swings by your desk, startling you awake. Don't worry, he's just there to tell you that the corporate office is stopping by for an impromptu meeting at 3:00 p.m.
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2:00 PM
You haul your sorry ass to the local coffee spot. Using a series of glyphs and made-up signs, you're able to convey your need for the healing power of cold brew.
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2:05 PM
You drink. And then you order another. Problem solved.
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2:30 PM
The brew hits and you're on fire. You finish everything you've been lagging on and have never been more ready for a meeting in your life.
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3:00 PM
The meeting begins and so do your cold sweats.
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3:15 PM
You're more alert than you ever have been in your life. Then the shakes overtake you. You sit on your hands and hope no one notices that you're vibrating so hard, the table is trembling.
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3:30 PM
Your tummy starts to rumble. Uh-oh. How long will you have to hold it until bathroom break time?
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4:00 PM
The meeting ends. You nailed it. To celebrate, you head back over to the coffee shop for another cup of the brew.
