The New York City Department of Health is at it again – and by that, we mean providing kinky guidelines for the sex-starved. As a follow-up to its pandemic sex guidelines, the organization recently released new rules for those participating in the post-pandemic Slutty Summer 2021, and wow, you never knew a governmental agency could get this down and dirty.
Rather than force you to read the bright prink infographic they’re circulating online, we’ve condensed, paraphrased, and livened up the NYCDOH’s advice in this handy dandy (and totally randy) sex guide. Read it and go get your rocks off, gentlemen! (It’s about time.)
Cover Photo: Deagreez (Getty Images)
Slutty Summer guide
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Get vaccinated.
This should be a no-brainer by now, guys. If you don’t get jabbed, do not pass go. Be a man, roll up your sleeve, and get poked (so you can do some poking of your own). Do it for you and for all the lovely people you’re going to bang over the next few months.
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Be picky about your sex partners.
Sorry, stranger danger is still a thing when it comes to post-pandemic casual sex. Try to keep your raunchy rotation limited to your immediate social circle or people you live with.
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Go virtual.
Zoom – it’s not just for business meetings anymore! Just because you can fuck in person again doesn't mean you have to. Take your sexcapades online and avoid that awkward post-coital “How long do we have to lie here?” anxiety.
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Mask up.
Even if you’re vaccinated, wearing face coverings is wise because they provide an extra layer of protection. But feel free to take the mask trend into Eyes Wide Shut territory and get really weird with it – while keeping the Covid cooties away.
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86 kissing.
Sorry, making out is not yet back on the menu, even for those inoculated against Covid. Swapping spit is just too dangerous. But that’s OK. Just pretend one of you is a sex worker and watch the “no kissing” rule get very sexy, very fast.
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Try solo sex…together.
Mutual masturbation is the safest way to get off with another person present. It’s certainly the most efficient way, too.
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Wrap it up.
Coronavirus or no, condoms should always be a part of your casual sex life. The NYCDOH also recommends dental dams for oral and anal explorations, but who are we kidding? Does anyone use those?
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Get creative.
Now is not the time for gazing into your partner’s eyes as you smash. (As if face-to-face positions were ever your favorite anyway.) Nope, now is the time for the kind of sex you only used to have with people you were ashamed to be sleeping with. Bring on doggie style, reverse cowgirl, and spooning! An additional challenge: any kind of barrier you can put between you and your partner (the NYCDOH actually recommends a wall!) will help keep you both healthy – while spicing things up.
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Keep it clean.
Washing before and after sex is crucial to keep all those germs off your hands, genitals, and everywhere else. Make a shared shower both foreplay and an afterglow activity.
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Practice safe sex…parties.
Sex parties are actually not recommended, but if you simply cannot resist, make sure you stash some hand sanitizer and alcohol wipes in a bag with your lube.
