cruise ships
GIGLIO PORTO, ITALY - MAY 19: A general view of the stricken Costa Concordia, a few days before operations to remove the capsized cruise liner are due to begin, on May 19, 2012 in Giglio Porto, Italy. Following the removal of fuel by the SMIT and NERI salvage teams, caretaking operations to remove belongings from the ship were completed today. Recovery operations to refloat and remove the cruise ship by the Titan-Micoperi Consortium (American Titan Salvage together with Italian based Micoperi) are due to commence next week. (Photo by Laura Lezza/Getty Images)

Carnival Cruise Ships Collide in Titanic Fashion, Because When Has Anything Good Ever Happened on a Cruise?

By Nick Perkins

Every night in my dreams, I see you. I hear you. That is how I know you go on. But also there was a video. In this case, the video showed a titanic collision between two Carnival cruise ships, right after they left the dock in Cozumel, Mexico. The good news is, they weren’t in the middle of the ocean and they didn’t strike an iceberg. The bad news is, the video taken of the collision is rather boring, save for the guy losing his shit in the background and screaming that they were about to be hit and were going to sink.

However, there was a serious lack of an adorable love story involving a well-to-do debutante and a boy from the wrong side of the tracks and nobody was drawn like Jack’s French girls. There was only one reported injury, and it was minor, meaning that nobody needed to share a door until they were rescued, which is good because evidently only one person can fit on said door even though there is clearly room for two people. Finally, in the most disappointing news coming out of this story, Billy Zane was nowhere to be found.

Cover Photo: Laura Lezza / Contributor (Getty Images)

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Nick Perkins
Nick Perkins

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