Photo: Tony Garcia (Getty Images)
It’s Friday — and that means it’s time to stop working, loosen your belt, undo the top two buttons of your shirt (if you’re still wearing one), kick off your shoes, and head to the nearest happy hour to get sloshed with the other shirtless drunkards until the police come in on horseback and ruin the fun. It also means it’s time for another round of weekly highlights.
The gloves are off: John Lithgow Drops ‘Dumpty’ Book of Trump-Inspired Satirical Poetry
Join us as we explore the stoniest tweets, J. Lo’s greatest love, movies that will save your soul, and candy for the vampire in us all. We also prepare for the end of the Avengers and, more importantly, avocado toast. Don’t miss a single Mandatory moment in this week’s deliriously delicious ‘best of’ soufflè.
Find your favorite: New CBD Products, From Coffee and Cat Treats to Jerk-Off Creams
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weekly highlights 4.12.19
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Mandatory Funniest Tweets of the Week
For the sweetest in tweets, head here...
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Man Gives Two-Week Notice For Job After Preordering ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Movie Tickets
Follow our hero's journey here.
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17 People Who Were Too High To Function But Not Too High To Tweet
Enter the mind of a reefer madman here.
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Mandatory Laughs: Today’s Funny Photos For 4-11
Burn carbs through laughter here.
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8 Simple Steps to Surviving the Avocado Apocalypse
Prepare for the panic here.
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J.Lo Just One Fat Stone Short of Full Infinity Gauntlet After Fifth Engagement
Get to the bottom of this story here.
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Skrillex Music Is the Ultimate Mosquito Repellent This Summer
Dubstep into summer here.
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Candy Bars Made Of Blood And More Of The World’s Most Bizarre Candy
Get the sweet lowdown here.
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Support (And Drink) Local: Music-Inspired Beers For National Record Store Day
Vinyl + beer fans rejoice here.
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New Pabst Blue Ribbon Brew Joins The Pack Of Hipster Beers We Just Can’t Quit
Get your brew news here.
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This Weed Container Is the Dank Piggybank That Keeps Fresh Bud From Becoming Duds
Keep it fresh here.
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Woody Harrelson Just May Be the Ultimate Sidekick Actor
Celebrate the ultimate Woody here.
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Netflix Still One Step Ahead With New Adult Animated LGBTQ Spy Series
Get the full dossier here.
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Mandatory Movies: What To Watch When You Despise Your Dead-End Job
Make your escape here.
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5 Things You Should Know About Dustin Poirier
Step into the octagon here.
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Mandatory GIFS of the Week 4-10-2019
Unwrap your GIFs here.
