Man Billed $19K for Internet, Not Even Half the Price of Tissues to Masturbate to ‘Bridgerton’ Season 2

A working internet connection is the lifeblood of modern living. From work emails and SFW porn to weekend bingeing and sexting from home, there’s not a person alive who can live without the sweet nectar of the worldwide web. This is why one man’s 8-month struggle to get his internet service up and running was well worth the wait. And the insane bill.

When Jonathan Rowny moved from Virginia to the small town of Buckley, Washington he only needed one thing. And after checking with Comcast’s website, he knew he would soon be rolling in high-speed internet. There was just one catch. Comcast had falsely advertised internet service at Rowney’s new house.

But being a man in need of Wi-Fi, Rowney decided to pay Comcast to stretch its existing broadband line 436 feet to his house. Comcast told him the cost would be a kick-in-the-balls $19,000. That’s when he discovered his next-door neighbor had internet.

Instead of punching a horse in the face, Rowney hired his own contractor to dig a cable line trench to his house, forcing Comcast to rejigger its cost estimate. In the end, he lowered the cost down to $10,000 (still a finger flick in the balls). But all was not well.

After getting lost in the shuffle of customer service bureaucracy for six months, Rowney was left waiting for Comcast to connect his damn box. With the clock ticking, he finally went on LinkedIn to complain directly to a Senior Vice President at Comcast. A short email later, Rowney was hooked up just in time for Bridgerton Season 2.

“Honestly, it’s been great having it. It’s been super solid and reliable. I am happy now,” Rowny whispered.  No need to wink, Mr. Rowny. We love happy endings too.

Cover Photo: grinvalds (Getty Images)
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