Man Loses Will to Live After Mistaking Oatmeal Raisin Cookie For Chocolate Chip

Ever since we’ve had to live with a deadly and contagious plague for the past two years, the smaller things in life have become much more satisfying. Like being able to walk into a public place without having to die from not wearing an N95 mask, hugging your mother without killing her, going out on a Tinder date with your only fear being catching herpes, or enjoying a big cookie of any variety (except oatmeal raisin, of course) at your favorite bakery.

Indeed, these are many commonplace activities we previously took for granted and appreciate so much more now. So when any tiny problem happens that prevents any small pleasure in life, it suddenly becomes a matter of questioning life itself.

One man appears to fit that description very well after buying a chocolate chip cookie only to discover that it was actually oatmeal raisin.

“Ever since I was forced back into the workplace following the worst of Covid, one of my favorite things is getting a big old chocolate chip cookie during lunch,” the man told Mandatory. “I really don’t get all that upset about many things, but having bought and bit into this cookie thinking it was chocolate chip — but, in reality, was oatmeal raisin — has me wondering if life is even worth living at this point.”

We here at Mandatory totally understand the man’s frustration. Oatmeal raisin cookies are something that should only be used to feed park pigeons when nothing else is available. The mere existence of an oatmeal raisin cookie in a world of chocolate chip ones suggests a sick and chaotic society. But is mistaking an oatmeal raisin cookie for a chocolate chip one really worth ending it all?

Adding some context in an attempt to properly describe his massive disappointment, the man told Mandatory that the mishap was like “thinking you’re about to have sex with a gorgeous woman and then that woman turns out to be your mother.”

Perhaps he should just stick to scones.

Cover Photo: AaronAmat (Getty Images)