With Halloween almost upon us, it’s time to get scared and there’s plenty of fright on TV these days. While some of the most horrifying sights are of the ghoulish variety there’s terror to be found in all forms. There are all types of undead, dinosaurs, fairy tale fiends and psychotic ex-wives. That’s right, even marriage can become the stuff of horror. Just ask Ron Swanson.
In honor of All Hallow’s Eve, we’ve compiled a diverse account of the scariest characters on TV, at the moment. While some are no-brainers, literally, others will surprise you. But be warned, all are guaranteed to give you a hearty scare.
Dexter Morgan (“Dexter”)
“Dexter’s” titular anti-hero may be a do-gooder at heart, but there are many who’d take issue with his methods, particularly Miami Metro PD. Dexter (Michael C. Hall) has come to terms with and even embraced his “dark passenger,” a crime-fighting serial killer whose unconventional use of plastic wrap, Sodium Pentothal and a large collection of knives keeps Miami’s violent criminal element at bay.
Though he may be a loving father and caring (though often clueless) big brother, don’t mistake Dex for a softy. Get on his bad side and you’ll soon find yourself under the knife.
Richard Harrow (“Boardwalk Empire”)
Richard Harrow’s war-torn facial disfigurement is proof that scary isn’t only skin deep. As Atlantic City badboy, Jimmy Darmody’s right-hand man, Harrow (Jack Huston) puts the scare into anyone who gets in the way of their business on the boardwalk. Though he may be mild mannered and good with kids, there’s no limit to the brutality this veteran army marksman is capable of.
Harrow’s haunting presence is enough to inspire fear, but watch him scalp a man and you’ll know you’ve seen the true face of terror.
Happy (“Sons of Anarchy”)
Don’t let the name fool you, “happy” is the last thing you’ll feel if you come face to face with this guy.
Though the fact that he re-uses condoms might lead you to believe he’s an environmentalist, Happy makes plenty of waste, in the form of gangbangers, bikers and Russian mobsters. What makes him more frightening is that he enjoys it. In fact, the SOA enforcer celebrates each kill by getting a “happy face” tattoo afterwards.
Oh and fun fact: he’s played by real life Hell’s Angel, David LaBrava. That should get your motor revving in the other direction with a quickness.
Tammy Swanson (“Parks and Recreation”)
Hey, psychotic ex-wives can be just as terrifying as any zombie, serial killer or mob hitman.
On paper, Tammy Swanson (Megan Mullally) may appear to be an unassuming middle-American library director; but as Ron Swanson can attest, his ex-wife is a psycho b*tch from hell. Tammy knows just all the right buttons to push with her bacon-loving ex-hubby. All it took was a little whale tail and a giant piece of beef jerky and Ron was in corn rows and incarcerated, beside the mentally unstable Tammy.
Zombies! (“The Walking Dead”)
Pick a zombie, any zombie, they’re all undead and all scary as hell.
As Rick Grimes and his scrappy band of Atlanta survivors take them down one by one, the horde appears to multiply. What’s worse is that sometimes they’re former friends and loved ones. But that won’t stop these southern fried flesh eaters from taking a bite out of anyone, be it friend or foe, and thus adding to the ranks of the growing undead army.
Adelaide (“American Horror Story”)
The daughter of Constance, the equally creepy neighbor of the Harmon family, Addy is always around and always telling poor Vivien Harmon she’s going to die.
You’d think the lady Harmon would have figured that out when she and her adulterous husband and belligerent teenage daughter moved into an L.A. Victorian house that was the site of a murder/suicide. But just in case the spooky mural on the wall and bondage gear in the attic doesn’t get the message across, Addy is always around to remind the Harmons that they are indeed going to die.
Also, she spits in her own baked goods. Eeek!
Eddie Monroe (“Grimm”)
Left untamed, facial hair can get scary. Case in point, reformed “big bad wolf” Eddie Monroe. Eddie’s a good but scary guy to have in your corner. If you invade his territory he’ll quickly revert to canine behavior, take you down and then invite you to grab a brew.
For a detective and hunter of all things supernatural like Nick Burkhardt, it helps to have a guy on the inside and who better than the “Big Bad Wolf” himself?
Rumplestiltskin (“Once Upon a Time”)
What kind of monster would scare poor little Snow White into believing that she and her Prince Charming will fall under the curse of an evil queen and never get their “happy ending?” Robert Carlyle’s Rumplestiltskin, of course.
So what if it’s true? It doesn’t help that bearer of such bad news is an unsightly looking imp with an obvious disinterest in dental hygiene. Or any kind of hygiene, for that matter.
Dinosaurs! (“Terra Nova”)
This ain’t Baby Bop and Barney, kids. Despite the signs everywhere reading “DO NOT FEED THE DINOSAURS” little Zoe’s managed to sneak a leafy offering to one of one of Terra Nova’s prehistoric locals.
Okay, so maybe there weren’t signs everywhere, but any fool can see these “Jurassic Park” rejects are not looking to be your best friend and are at the very least super dee-duper scary.
The Observer (“Fringe”)
If you’re able to spot “The Observer” in the image above then you know exactly why this guy is creepy. It’s because he’s everywhere! Outside diners, in the woods at night, at the scene of horrific biological incident and even on “American Idol.”
He may not say or do much, but the fact that baldy is always around and always ready to chow down on a raw roast beef and jalapeno pepper sandwich is disturbing. The indigestion alone induces sheer terror.
