Boomers Confirm It’s Acceptable to Say ‘OK, Booma’ If You Have a Friend Who Is One (But Not With a Hard ‘R’) Make sure it's not with a hard "R" at the end.
Sarah Beattie Goes Hard on Trump Supporting ‘Cheeto-Eating Micro-Dicks’ in Flagged Twitter Feud, Follows Up With ‘Baby Balls’ For the Win Twitter is totally cool with people insulting Trump supporters' genitalia.
Meanwhile in Florida: Man Pulls Machete After Getting Rejected for Date (Imagine What He Does When He Gets Cheated On) This would not be one of the better ways to deal with rejection.
Man Hides in Street to Teach Girlfriend Not to Walk Home Alone, Lesson Obviously Ends Badly Scaring someone silly is a terrible teaching method.
Meanwhile in Florida: Fisherman Believes He Was Sexually Assaulted by Mermaid, Most Likely an Instagram Influencer Either a Florida man is hallucinating or this is a nice problem to have.
California Students Receive ID Cards with Sex Hotline Number, Radical New Form of Sex Ed One little typo caused a big stir at this California middle school.
Funeral Mourners Get Stoned After Being Served Hash Cake At Restaurant (That’s How He Would Have Wanted to Be Remembered) Have your cake and get stoned, too.
Woman Drenched in ‘Hot Diarrhea’ From Homeless LA Man, Gets Authentic Hollywood Experience And you thought your night was crappy.
Donald Trump Jr. ‘Triggered’ By Fake Book Cover Swap (More Upset It’s Better Than His) "It was a perfect book cover."
Weird News: Woman Bumps Into Supposedly Dead Ex-Boyfriend, Who Doubles Down By Calling in Dead to Work Well, that's one way to avoid a breakup.