Holiday Shopper Punches 5-Year-Old in the Face at Target, Wrong Bull’s-Eye Jackass Black Friday shopping turned violent at this Target store.
Bill Cosby Loses Sexual Assault Appeal, Still Awaiting Decision for Extra Pudding at Dinner America's Dad remains in the slammer for the foreseeable future.
Greta Thunberg Named Time’s Person of the Year For Standing Up to Climate Change, Old White Men Complain While Destroying Planet A 16-year-old beat out Donald Trump for Time magazine's Person of the Year.
‘Dick Fish’ Wash Ashore by the Thousands in California, Our Worst Nightmare Has Finally Manifested Is that a dick fish or are you just happy to see me?
Police Chief Shocked to Find ‘Pig’ Written on His Starbucks Cup, His Daughter Not Shocked in the Least If she says it is so, then it must be so.
Woman Rescued After 8 Days in Bathtub, Expected to Join the California Raisins Next Summer on Tour She's fallen and she can't get up...for over a week.
Meanwhile in Florida: Overly-Eager Holiday Lover Sits Atop Family’s Roof in Nothing But Underwear, Christmas Drills in Progress Someone has a little too much of the Christmas spirit.
Company Hiring People to Smoke Pot For $3,000 and All the Cool Ranch Doritos You Can Eat (‘Weed’ Do It For Free) Every stoner's dream job is now a reality.
Petition to Rename Fire Ants to ‘Spicy Boys’ Gathers Steam, ‘Picante’ Rejected For Being Too Clever Fire ants are in need of a new identity.
Shelter Cat Fingered As Purr-Petrator in Repeated Cases of Kitty Breakout Some cats have nine lives...of crime.