Meanwhile in Seattle: Overflowing Landfills Could Become Actual Massive Dumpster Fires, City to Rebrand Its Flag Accordingly Here's how 1,200 tons of garbage turns into Dante's flaming asshole.
Meanwhile in California: Affordable Housing Finally Arrives! Only $800 For Monthly Bunk Bed Rental A place to lay your head...and not much else.
Meanwhile in Florida: Homeowners Horrified to Find 550-Pound Gator in Pool, That or Their Meth Neighbor Gators go skinny-dipping, too.
Rogue Delivery Robot Found in Woods, Can a Horny Machine Get Some Privacy? Not all bots that wander are lost.
Weird News of the Day: Arby’s Manager Caught Urinating in Milkshake, But Are You Even Surprised? The secret ingredient is...urine!
‘Dating Women Is Gay,’ Says America First Leader During Successful Quest to Remain Lifelong Virgin Sounds like the guy has it all figured out.
Fentanyl Vape Pen Next Hot Trend Yet to Be Discovered, Early Retirement Guaranteed to All Who Enter We like partaking in shenanigans just as much as the next person.
FDA Approves Cookie-Flavored Undies to Prevent STIs During Oral Sex, Sorry Is That Supposed to Slow Us Down? A whole new way to eat her out.