Mandatory Good News: Real-Life Superhero Saves Sister from Mauling Dog, Appointed an Avenger by Entire Team A little boy from Cheyenne, Wyoming, has risen to national acclaim for being a real-life superhero to one of the…
Meanwhile in Florida: Police Apprehend Kangaroo Peacefully Hopping Through Town Police officers in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, were recently hopping mad because reports came flooding in that a kangaroo was gallivanting…
Nunchuck Bear Is Going to Twitter Trend His Way Into His Own TV Series If Goldilocks ever broke into this bear's house, she would get what was coming to her.
Aww Nuts: Squirrel in Colorado Tests Positive for Bubonic Plague Because 2020 Remember a week ago when news sites picked up on the fact that the pneumonic and Bubonic plagues had reemerged…
Louisiana Man Puts the ‘Ass’ in Bass Pro Shop by Swimming in Fish Tank Remember in the ‘80s when grownups swore that MTV was the devil and that it was going to corrupt the…
Meanwhile in Florida…Woman Sues for Paternity Test on Goats (But Not for the Reason You Think) We know, we know. The title of this weird news story is a bit misleading. We’re sorry to disappoint you,…
Meanwhile in Florida…County Commissioner Who Voted Against Masks Admitted to Hospital for COVID-19, Set to Pen Updated Version of ‘Isn’t it Ironic’ It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. Listen, we’re not here to say “we told you so,” but…
Badass Mother Who Wore Face Mask Through 38-Hour Labor Says ‘If I Can, So Can You’ Shut up and put your face mask on.
Rudy Giuliani Calls NYPD After Being Pranked by Sacha Baron Cohen, Can Only Take a Joke if it Becomes President It makes sense that Mr. Giuliani has a sense of humor. How else could he explain his support for this…
7 Scientific Signs Kanye West Is Having a Top-Shelf Narcissistic Episode When He Says He’s Running for President Science can at least help us explain Kanye West, even if we don’t altogether understand him.