Tormenting Tuesdays Reportedly Now Worse Than Case of the Mondays, Followed by Wicked Wednesdays and Basically Every Day Is Just Awful (Weekends Now Just Awkward Spaces Between Weeks) Let’s be honest: nobody ever liked Tuesdays to begin with, but now they're insufferable.
5-Year-Old Boy Who Stole Car Is Rewarded With Lamborghini Ride, That’ll Teach Him! So let this be a lesson to all your youngsters: If you can do it in a video game, you…
Trump’s Space Force Takes Next Step with New Ads Now That Earth Is Plenty Screwed The future is so dark.
A Tale of Two Karens: The Internet’s Ridiculous K-Word Conversation Continues, No Quarantine Can Stop a Karen A Karen divided amongst itself cannot stand. That's why there are so many of them.
Robert Pattinson Refuses to Work Out for ‘The Batman,’ COVID-19 Plays Unexpected Villain to Horny Comic Book Lovers Pattinson has been using quarantine time to work on his brooding, moping, and blending in with the night.
Mandatory Follow-up Story: Kansas Man Who Wanted to Sword Fight Ex-Wife Deemed ‘Not Crazy’ by Doctor, May Need Second Opinion A man who wanted to sword-fight his ex-wife may not be legally insane, but he definitely isn't right in the…
‘The Batman’ Reportedly ‘Raw and Unsanitized,’ Fans Not Exactly Supportive of About Raw Unsanitized Bats Right Now 'Raw and unsanitized' anything is not what we need right now.
Korean Baseball Team Uses Cardboard Cutout Fans to Maintain Morale, Somehow No Less Boring Than Actual Baseball The Korean Baseball Organization isn't letting coronavirus keep fans out of the stands.
Meanwhile in Florida: Clearwater Drunk Gets DUI, Shaves Mustaches Before Getting Another DUI the Same Week The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Meanwhile in Florida: Parents Hoard and Sell School Lunches Online, Teach Master Class on Being a Colossal Prick in a Crisis These corrupt Florida parents prove there's no such thing as a free lunch.